Very Rude Anti Valentines Card – I love you because I am lonely

lonely_sq

“I love you because I am lonely”

This Steampunk anti Valentines day card features a composite picture made from Victorian mechanical and anatomical drawings.

This particular one has a cat, cogs, a corsetted woman and a heart

Too rude for Folksy or Etsy, probably too rude for any family members and possibly illegal too.
5 1/2 inch square deep black high quality card with bright pink envelopes.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or rip out if you feel so inclined.

Just a tiny little £4.50 with no postage charges at all and this could be yours!

[wp_cart:Lonely Valentines Card:price:4.5:end]

Very Rude Anti Valentines Card – Going Dutch

dutch

“I love you because you think going Dutch means a dirty weekend in Amsterdam”

This Steampunk anti Valentines day card features a composite picture made from Victorian mechanical and anatomical drawings.

This particular one has a cat, cogs, bugs a torso and a heart

Too rude for Folksy or Etsy, probably too rude for any family members and possibly illegal too.
5 1/2 inch square deep black high quality card with bright pink envelopes.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or rip out if you feel so inclined.

Just a tiny little £4.50 with no postage charges at all and this could be yours!

[wp_cart:Going Dutch Valentines Card:price:4.5:end]

Very Rude Anti Valentines Card – Do you know why I love you so much?

why

“Do you know why I love you so much? No, neither do I”

This Steampunk anti Valentines day card features a composite picture made from Victorian mechanical and anatomical drawings.

This particular one has twins, corset damage, a cat, a heart and cogs

Too rude for Folksy or Etsy, probably too rude for any family members and possibly illegal too.
5 1/2 inch square deep black high quality card with bright pink envelopes.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or rip out if you feel so inclined.

Just a tiny little £4.50 with no postage charges at all and this could be yours!

[wp_cart:Do you know why I love you Valentines Card:price:4.5:end]

Very Rude Anti Valentines Card – I love you because you take it up the arse…

arse

“I love you because you take it up the arse like the bitch you are”

This Steampunk anti Valentines day card features a composite picture made from Victorian mechanical and anatomical drawings.

This particular one has a sexy half opened torso, a cat, an opened heart and cogs to keep the wheels of love turning.

Too rude for Folksy or Etsy, probably too rude for any family members and possibly illegal too.
5 1/2 inch square deep black high quality card with bright pink envelopes.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or rip out if you feel so inclined.

Sold out – sorry!

Free, Alternative, Rude and Possibly Offensive “I forgot Valentines” pictures to share.

These little beauties are free to share, as long as you don’t make money out of them, in which case I will send the rats round. Spread the marg, oh, should that be love? I forget. Pop them on your beloveds Facebook profile, print them out and stick them under windscreen wipers, slide them between the pages of random library books. Whatevs.

Sorry I missed Valentines Day, I was doing your mum    Valentines? waste of money, Oral sex? Priceless

I didn't send you a valentines day card because you turned me gay, thank you

Sorry I missed Valentines Day, I was busy doing your dad

it took so long at the gum clinic I didn't have time to get you a valentines day card, sorry

Very Rude Anti Valentines Card – If I tell you that I love you will you fuck me?

fuck_me

This Steampunk anti Valentines day card features a composite picture made from Victorian mechanical and anatomical drawings.

This particular one has a sexy half opened torso, a lovely bug in sections and cogs to keep the wheels of love turning.

Too rude for Folksy or Etsy, probably too rude for any family members and possibly illegal too.
5 1/2 inch square deep black high quality card with bright pink envelopes.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or rip out if you feel so inclined.

Just a tiny little £4.50 with no postage charges at all and this could be yours!

[wp_cart:Will you fuck me card:price:4.5:end]

I love you because you have an enormous cock – Valentines Day Card

Mmm cock.

You too could have a huge cock on your mantlepiece. I’ve got one, it’s resplendent.

5 1/2 inch square deep black high quality card with bright pink envelopes.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or rip out if you feel so inclined.

£4.50 including postage

SOLD OUT NOW SORRY

 

I love you because the voices tell me to – Anti Valentines Day Card

What else do the voices tell you to do?

This Steampunk anti Valentines day card features a composite picture anatomy drawings and diagrams of machinery.
The card is of the deepest darkest black and is 5 1/2 inch square. It comes with a jolly bright pink envelope to lighten the mood, or lull the recipient into a false sense of security.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or tear off, if you are in that sort of mood.

Or you can buy directly from here with Paypal for £4.50 with free postage and packing [wp_cart:The voices tell me to Valentines:price:4.50:end]