Guest Poem – Toolbox by Angela van Son

shoes
illustration by Lisa Cole

Toolbox

If I had a hammer
I’d hammer your skull in the morning
I’d hammer your toes in the evening
All over your shoes

If I had a drill
I’d drill your eyes in the morning
I’d drill your ears in the evening
Blood all over your shoes

If I had a wrench
I’d wring you neck in the morning
I’d wrap myself around your middle in the evenings
Lick your shoes at night

If I had pliers
I’d pull your nails in the morning
Put them back in the evening
Say sorry at night

If I had a screwdriver
I’d screw you in the morning
I’d screw me in the evening
There’s a screw loose each night

Reposted with permission from Angela van Son

You can see more of her words at  http://unassortedstories.wordpress.com

Mooncups rock, stop using Tampons you crazy bints!

Mooncup Menstrual Cup

You can spend thousands of pounds on disposable tampons or pads, or you can get one mooncup that will probably last you till your menopause. It’s a no brainer!

They are so easy to use, it’s easy to clean them, they are better for you, save you lots of money that you can spend on chocolate instead.

They are basically a small soft cup you squish up inside yourself; your muscles hold it there and you hook it out with one finger when you feel it’s getting full. Instead of tampons that keep absorbing your life fluid away, Mooncups only collect blood which is so much better for you. You simply tip the teaspoon or so into the loo, rinse the Mooncup out if there is a sink handy, wipe it with loo roll if not and pop it back in. I find the are easier to use on the second day of my cycle as I’m a bit sensitive on the first day.

I met the owner of the Mooncup company once and ranted about how much I hate my Mooncup, she said, ‘hmm, do you hate your Mooncup or do you hate your period’. She was right, the Mooncup was blameless, my body however is as guilty as sin, roll on the menopause.